Sad day

My baby crawled today for the first time and I missedit and it hurts like hell ..... What I wouldn't give to be with her. I am missing so many important firsts in her life And I feel like a failure.in so many ways I know I am so lucky but what price being able to spend the formative years with your one and only child. I feel so angry right now but where will that get me?? Nowhere. There is nothing I can do and I'm devastated. Off to cry...